- Joined
- Dec 6, 2009
- Messages
- 1,791
- Reaction score
- 50
- Location
- On a mountain in the Ozarks
- My Bike Models
- 1982 Standard
I copied this from another website.
I enjoyed it because of the way it hit home. :doh: :roll:
I came home from work one day and proceeded to the can to
take a leak. I stood in front of the toilet, unzipped and
started the job. Now, just a quick note here, we have a
cabinet above the toilet and it has a shelf on it, nothing
unusual here, many homes do. Anyway, as I was standing there
draining the weasel I noticed something new on the shelf. It
was a rounded edge white box. About 10 inches tall, 4 inches
wide. It was smooth other then an 'eye' and a flashing red
light. What the hell? It kinda looked like a camera lens? I
leaned in for a closer look. To my surprize, it made a
noise..... Now, I will never do the noise justice, but if
you say it aloud, it just may come across. It sort of
went..... "Wheeeeee.....(pause) Phooooo."
That is when the pain hit. I was instantly blinded, pain
searing through my eyes. I did what no one should ever do, I
let go mid stream to grab my eyes to stop the pain. Even
through the pain, I could hear the stream hitting the back
of the toilet, could feel it splashing back against me, but
the pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. I turned,
screaming and instantly hit the edge of the sink. I spun
around, the stream spraying the room like a childs
sprinkler, and landed flat on my back, still clutching my
eyes. There is now a fountain, shooting up and misting back
down on me. But, at this point I don't care. My eyes feel
like they are melting out of the sockets and running down my
cheeks. Later, I would realize this was just the tears of a
grown man, soaked in urine. :crying:
It was this sight that greeted my wife as she ran into the
bathroom to see what the noise and screaming was about. Me,
with my pants around my ankles, holding my eyes and
screaming. The fountain slowing to a stop..... and
inexplicably, the scent of Gardenias. :blush:
Yes folks, she had just bought one of those Glade motion
activated air fresheners. It had just shot a load of
Gardenia scented spray directly into both eyes. As I washed
my eyes that were now swollen and bright red, my wife
proceeded to clean the bathroom and move the damn torture
device somewhere else. So, if you see one of these, don't
lean in to see what the hell it is..... :good:
I enjoyed it because of the way it hit home. :doh: :roll:
I came home from work one day and proceeded to the can to
take a leak. I stood in front of the toilet, unzipped and
started the job. Now, just a quick note here, we have a
cabinet above the toilet and it has a shelf on it, nothing
unusual here, many homes do. Anyway, as I was standing there
draining the weasel I noticed something new on the shelf. It
was a rounded edge white box. About 10 inches tall, 4 inches
wide. It was smooth other then an 'eye' and a flashing red
light. What the hell? It kinda looked like a camera lens? I
leaned in for a closer look. To my surprize, it made a
noise..... Now, I will never do the noise justice, but if
you say it aloud, it just may come across. It sort of
went..... "Wheeeeee.....(pause) Phooooo."
That is when the pain hit. I was instantly blinded, pain
searing through my eyes. I did what no one should ever do, I
let go mid stream to grab my eyes to stop the pain. Even
through the pain, I could hear the stream hitting the back
of the toilet, could feel it splashing back against me, but
the pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. I turned,
screaming and instantly hit the edge of the sink. I spun
around, the stream spraying the room like a childs
sprinkler, and landed flat on my back, still clutching my
eyes. There is now a fountain, shooting up and misting back
down on me. But, at this point I don't care. My eyes feel
like they are melting out of the sockets and running down my
cheeks. Later, I would realize this was just the tears of a
grown man, soaked in urine. :crying:
It was this sight that greeted my wife as she ran into the
bathroom to see what the noise and screaming was about. Me,
with my pants around my ankles, holding my eyes and
screaming. The fountain slowing to a stop..... and
inexplicably, the scent of Gardenias. :blush:
Yes folks, she had just bought one of those Glade motion
activated air fresheners. It had just shot a load of
Gardenia scented spray directly into both eyes. As I washed
my eyes that were now swollen and bright red, my wife
proceeded to clean the bathroom and move the damn torture
device somewhere else. So, if you see one of these, don't
lean in to see what the hell it is..... :good:
