- Joined
- Dec 3, 2009
- Messages
- 9,284
- Reaction score
- 330
- Location
- Duncanville, Texas
- My Bike Models
- 1981 GL1100 Innerstate("The Turd")SOLD!!, 1996 GL1500 Innerstate
Got a lil time to catch up on stoopidity, so I thunk I'd share some wid ya'll.... :BigGrin:
A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased by a cheetah. The wife told the husband, “If the antelope survives this one, I’ll give you a ******** every day for the rest of your life.”
[video]https://youtu.be/DYDIwOnXNc8[/video]
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New Math......
A little boy was doing his math homework. “Two plus five,” he said to himself, “that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.” His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?”. “I’m doing my math homework, Mom,” the little boy answered. “And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked. “Just like I’m doing it,” he answered.
Infuriated, the mother called the school the next day and demanded a conference with the teacher and the principal. “What are you teaching my son in math?” she asked. “Right now we’re learning addition,” the teacher replied. “And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?”
The teacher burst out laughing. “What I taught them,” she said, “was two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.”
:doh: :smilie_happy:
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Potential vs. Real
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?” The father thought for a moment, then answered, “Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.”
So the boy went to his mother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” The mother replied, “Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!”
The boy then went to his sister and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” “Oh my Gawd!” the girl replied, “I LOVE Brad Pitt. I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?”
The boy then went to his brother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” “Of course,” the brother replied. “Do you know what a million bucks would buy?”
The boy pondered the answers and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, “Did you find out the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?”
“Yes,” the boy replied. “‘Potentially,’ you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but ‘realistically,’ we’re living with two high-priced straight hookers and a gay one.”
:yes: :hihihi:
back to werk now..... :builder:
A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased by a cheetah. The wife told the husband, “If the antelope survives this one, I’ll give you a ******** every day for the rest of your life.”
[video]https://youtu.be/DYDIwOnXNc8[/video]
**************************************************************
New Math......
A little boy was doing his math homework. “Two plus five,” he said to himself, “that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.” His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?”. “I’m doing my math homework, Mom,” the little boy answered. “And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked. “Just like I’m doing it,” he answered.
Infuriated, the mother called the school the next day and demanded a conference with the teacher and the principal. “What are you teaching my son in math?” she asked. “Right now we’re learning addition,” the teacher replied. “And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?”
The teacher burst out laughing. “What I taught them,” she said, “was two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.”
:doh: :smilie_happy:
********************************************************************
Potential vs. Real
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?” The father thought for a moment, then answered, “Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.”
So the boy went to his mother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” The mother replied, “Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!”
The boy then went to his sister and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” “Oh my Gawd!” the girl replied, “I LOVE Brad Pitt. I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?”
The boy then went to his brother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” “Of course,” the brother replied. “Do you know what a million bucks would buy?”
The boy pondered the answers and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, “Did you find out the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?”
“Yes,” the boy replied. “‘Potentially,’ you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but ‘realistically,’ we’re living with two high-priced straight hookers and a gay one.”
:yes: :hihihi:
back to werk now..... :builder:
