More 'Puter woes...

[AApple]

I just found these e-mails in our "old mail" file....I wonder whassup? :help:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5..0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower
and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
· Romance 9.5 and
· Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as

· NBA 5.0,
· NFL 3.0 and
· Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system.

· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail..

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE


First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2,
and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
· If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0
to default to Grumpy Silence 2..5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
· Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the
Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of
all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program.
This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

 

[joedrum]

pure truth is hard. that last paragraph fits a little to good on me im going to act like i didnt even read it . i dont have much memory anyway.hey that additional hardware could be a new old wing that would improve my memory and performance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[BigAndrew]

:smilie_happy: :smilie_happy: Thats a good one :clapping: :clapping: :salute:

 

[sledge]

I believe in most cases , it would be much better to just keep using Boyfriend 5.0 ... and if it starts screwing up, you can just change the boyfriend 5.0 program for a different one. and ....... it's Easy to Uninstall , compaired to the Husband 1.0

 

[mcgovern61]

Bump........ :smilie_happy:

 

[slabghost]

Wife 1.0 uninstalled itself destroying all resources. I could no longer access any previous software including apps child 1.1 and 1.2. Installed Wife 2.0 which worked well a couple years and it to uninstalled itself in the same manner as Wife 1.0. Tried Wife 3.0.0 beta. Disastrous failure. Installed a fresh version of girlfriend 1.0 . Added best friend 1.0a . I then uninstalled to special occasions software in favor of Giftsanytime 1.0 beta. I highly recommend it. It completely eliminated the occasional crashes with the "YOUFORGOT!" error messages. I then upgraded to Wife 4.1.a beta version. Happily it has worked flawlessly ever since. I think I'll stay with this setup.

 

[dan filipi]

I'm running wife 2.19, there's an update may 16th to 2.20.
I have a good feeling about this update since all the updates as well as the original 2.0 version have worked flawlessly though there did seem to be a couple bugs around version 2.7 but a reboot usually fixed those.

 

[AApple]

Youse guys is talkin waaaay above my head...... :headscratch:
I'm still using the no frills version of WYFE 1.0....do have to reboot about onced a year, but other than that, it's been werkin great....

:smilie_happy:

 

[backlander]

:laptop: After crash and burn of Wife 4.0, it was decided to run all future programs in SAFE mode. All files are now either hidden or are read-only. Concerns over lack of connectivity between CPU and hard drive were eventually unfounded and the the temporary slowdown of the clock speed was due to enviormental surroundings of overall system. In SAFE mode, reboots are not necessary. in short, "YOU JUST GET NEW BOOTS". :smilie_happy: :smilie_happy:

 

[Anonymous]

I'm running wife 2.19, there's an update may 16th to 2.20.
I have a good feeling about this update since all the updates as well as the original 2.0 version have worked flawlessly though there did seem to be a couple bugs around version 2.7 but a reboot usually fixed those.

I tried the reboot - VERY BAD IDEA ..!

 

[mcgovern61]

Youse guys is talkin waaaay above my head...... :headscratch:
I'm still using the no frills version of WYFE 1.0....do have to reboot about onced a year, but other than that, it's been werkin great.... :smilie_happy:

I am also using Wife 1.0...but when I reboot...all I get is a leather taste in my mouth because the boot went so far up my a$$! :smilie_happy:

 

[mwbill37841]

:clapping: :clapping: :smilie_happy: :smilie_happy: :laptop: :smilie_happy:

 

[dan filipi]

I gave wife 1.0 my best shot. That was a short lived version. Just a couple months with no updates in sight.
Girlfriend 2.0 came along after I decided if I couldn't make wife 1.0 and there weren't going to be any updates then I'd give up on any of the "wife" versions and stick with "single" version 3.6.
This version had always worked for me though there are a lot less "perks" and MUCH more prone to viruses. :hihihi:

 

[backlander]

if I had give up "puters after Wife 1.0, :head bang: :head bang: there'd be a lot more Goldwings parked under my carport. :smilie_happy: :smilie_happy:

 

[bk2valve]

I ran Wife 1.3 and had to upgrade to Wife 2.14 then later after a couple years of no computer at all, I finally went to Ubuntu's Wife 3.27...wow, it works really fast and no bugs in it at all. That's Linux based stuff for ya. I'm getting too old for any more changes and I hate to have to go back to the old self operated abacus so minding my maintenance these days....
Brian

 

[Anonymous]

I ran Wife 1.3 and had to upgrade to Wife 2.14 then later after a couple years of no computer at all, I finally went to Ubuntu's Wife 3.27...wow, it works really fast and no bugs in it at all. That's Linux based stuff for ya. I'm getting too old for any more changes and I hate to have to go back to the old self operated abacus so minding my maintenance these days....
Brian

OH no not the Abacus - that makes you go blind!!!!

 

[bk2valve]

OH no not the Abacus - that makes you go blind!!!!

I can barely make out what you typed...could you use a bigger font? I am not going back..no, no....

Brian

 

[Omega Man]

I can't believe I missed this, great post. :laptop: :hihihi:

~O~

 

[mcgovern61]

.....and one year later it is still funny! :hihihi:

 

[Omega Man]

Janet has been trying to install a new Hard Drive for years... :whistling:

~O~