Taken a GED test lately?

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AApple

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My Bike Models
1981 GL1100 Innerstate("The Turd")SOLD!!, 1996 GL1500 Innerstate
The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs


Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery


Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium


Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

:rtfm: :read:
 
:smilie_happy: :hihihi: :smilie_happy: :lol: :grin:
When I had my ferry operation in Philadelphia, we had a verticle sign that was 12' tall with 24" letters that said "FERRY". We had customers constantly trying to get on the boat without paying!! When asked about their ticket they would get angry and say "da boat is free!" I would ask them "who told you that it was free?" They would point to the sign and say"see, it is FEERRREEE!". Well, how do you deal with that without being insulting? If it happened once, I would just laugh it off! :hihihi:

EXCEPT IT HAPPENED EVERYDAY! :shock: We had to take the sign down!
 
This is very timely for me. My grandson has been living with us for the past couple of years. He just took the AVSAT test for the military. Yesterday I took him down to the recruiter to see what he qualified for. He just graduated from high school in June. He got a 86 on the test and the recruiter offered him a wide variety of jobs he was qualified for. Minimum score to join the Navy, and Air Force is 50, minimum to Join the Army and Marines is 31, no kidding.
The recruiter told me that over fifty percent of the people that take the test don’t score high enough to get into the Army or Marines. The military is now turning away over 70% of the applicants due to low test scores, criminal records, and drug abuse. Our society is in deep trouble and our educational system has become a joke.
 
You should see it from a Community College Professor's view (and the view doesn't get much better). I taught Auto Tech in a local CC for a little over 6 years. More than once I had to stop my curriculum progression to have a lesson or two in basic Math, Deductive Reasoning, and job skill techniques. I had some really dumb ones that couldn't find their ass with a picture book of instructions! Get into a University? Not even on a sure bet!

The smart ones were those who were returning from the work force after finally wising up that they needed to update their lot in life. Few can retire from McDonalds or Walmart.

If they made an effort, I helped. If they screwed off and wanted me to save their arses because Daddy will make them go out and get a job (when they flunked), no deal.
 
Reminds me of a guy I served on Submarines with. If you don't qualify they give you a waiver so you can serve. His ASVAB scores were too low so they gave him a brain waiver.
 

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