Less see iffin I can piss EVERYONE off at the same time....

[AApple]

bestjk

• AApple
• Sep 22, 2013

 

[slabghost]

Ya missed me. Try again.

 

[Omega Man]

Love it! so....sorry Joel, joo phailed. :hihihi:

~O~

 

[Steve83]

Nice! He must be using Nixon's, Clinton's and W's for his angel wing and halo wind tunnel tests!

 

[joedrum]

:smilie_happy: :smilie_happy: :smilie_happy: :smilie_happy: :heat:

 

[zman]

NICE! :mrgreen:

 

[AApple]

Sunday School

• AApple
• Oct 28, 2013

:whistling:

 

[slabghost]

Can I get that picture in an 8'x10' size?

 

[AApple]

Right click..."Save As"....Print..... :laptop:
:smilie_happy:

 

[joedrum]

my my ... :hihihi: nope im not mad or pissed ...try harder :nea: opcorn:

 

[Omega Man]

AApple » Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:17 pm[/url]":2q4dam4n]
Right click..."Save As"....Print..... :laptop:
:smilie_happy:

I often save your pics. :yes:

~O~

 

[AApple]

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.

After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary.

A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."
Silence fell over the congregation.

In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."

The entire congregation said, "Amen."
:cheeky:

 

[AApple]

HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
God went to the Arabs and said, 'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'
The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?' And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.' 'Can you give us an example?'
'Thou shall not kill.'
Not kill? We're not interested..'

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.' The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, 'Honor thy Father and Mother. 'Father? We don't know who our fathers are.
We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.' The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'
'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.' The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'
'Sacre blue!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments.'
'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'
'They're free.'




'We'll take 10.'



There, that should offend just about everybody! :mrgreen:

 

[slabghost]

Nope! But you keep trying there. I'm sure it offends someone.

 

[dan filipi]

Dint offend me in the slightest Joel.
Keep trying.

 

[joedrum]

im laughing that was good ...im sure im not offended and don't ever expect to be ...

 

[AApple]

Little Johnny asked Mom what 2 words mean that kids at school were using ... Pussy and Bitch.
Mom inhaled sharply, but then said: "Oh, that's easy. A pussy is a cat, like our little Chico. A bitch is a female dog, like our Sandy .”
"Thanks, Mom...”
He then found his Dad out in the garage. "Dad, the guys at school are using words I don't understand."
"What words, son?"
"Pussy and bitch. I asked Mom, but I don't think she told me the right meanings."
Dad said: "Son, never ask your mother about these things, ask me instead. Let me explain it like this."
He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centerfold, drew a circle around the pubic area and said: "Son, everything inside the circle is pussy."
"Okay, Dad. Then what's a bitch?"





Dad replied: "Everything outside the circle." :ahem:

 

[Steve83]

Now that's thinking outside the box!

 

[AApple]

You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month! While filled with illusion I wrote you a letter and I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of rollerblades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year! Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, Santa, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my brothers, my friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity! WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A ******* YO-YO, A STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE **** WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH? YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE ******* YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME **** LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T ****** ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE ******** ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY ******* TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE! PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! I'LL **** YOU UP! I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE **** AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS BACK TO THE NORTHPOLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT ******* BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH!! YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, **** YOU!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY ******* BE...YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON A ************ FAR TOO LONG! SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT BITCH!

Sincerely, Little Johnny

 

[Steve83]

Go, Johnny, go! And Johnny be good...