Words of Wit - Add Yours

Tom_Charlton · Dec 23, 2015

Setting here 2 days before Christmas and don't want to go to the garage. Feel free to add to the list.

Reintarnation - Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.
Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease.
Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly: Impotent.
Rectitude: The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Lymph: To walk with a lisp.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

slabghost · Dec 23, 2015

Infernal Revenue- Gov. entity that takes our money.
Environmental Defection Agency - Entity to take our money to fix imaginary problems blamed on the public.

AApple · Dec 23, 2015

Archie Bunker-isms.... :smilie_happy: :good:
No witty werds to add, but a few random thoughts...

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.....We haven't met yet.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.
Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

julimike54 · Dec 23, 2015

Nothing to add, but I can relate to far too many of them

dan filipi · Dec 23, 2015

[url=https://www.classicgoldwings.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=164830#p164830:2wz8za4k said:
julimike54 » 26 minutes ago[/url]":2wz8za4k]
Nothing to add, but I can relate to far too many of them

Oh my, me too! It's scary

slabghost · Dec 23, 2015

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

I like these. :whistling: